Mummy knows best!

This is Yule 7th day at child care.. it was generally ok for Yule but it wasn't all smooth for the past few days..

Day 1 - Only tried half day and I was with Yule the whole time (from 9 am to 1 pm and I was so bored!!).. pretty ok, but kinda refused to eat the food (rice with fish soup and some vege, smells so nice but obviously does not entice Yule). I have to let the teacher know her picky habit and eat too much will puke syndrome, and she ate a bit after the teacher started feeding her.

Day 2 - Daddy stayed an hour with her, and she was there for another 2 hours on her own. Everything ok. Ate during lunch by herself.

Day 3 - Decided to try her for full day including napping there.. I was with her the first hour from 9am to 10am, she was uncomfortable that I had to go, but rest of the day turned out not too bad. The teacher accompanied her while she slept.

Day 4 - I left right after dropping her. She was happy and gave me a kiss voluntarily. When I rerturned to pick her at 4pm, the teacher (and even a few kiddos) told me Yule cried before sleep and after she woke up. The teacher had to carry her to sleep as she wept... poor thing...

Day 5 - It was a monday after a weekend. Yule started to say that she does not want to go child care. Sent her nonetheless... and in the evening, was told by the teacher again that she cried during nap time. Yule continued to say she does not want to go child care. Put her to sleep at night and comforted her.

Day 6 - The worse so far. Yule repeatedly said she does not want to go child care, began to cry as we were approaching the child care and cried hysterically when I was about to go. My heart sank. So poor thing... I picked her in the afternoon, as I have to send her to her pottery class, so she did not have to nap there, not too bad... spent the rest of the day talking and listening to her, and what she likes and dislikes about child care.

Yule said she wants to go child care but she does not want to sleep there. I figured out that she was scared about sleeping and feeling scared that teacher will scold. She kinda like some of the things going on there, birthday celebtations, goody bags, new friends, new experiences but in a dillemma whether she wants to child care or not as she does not want to sleep there! Quite funny actually!

Day 7 (today) - As I am typing now, I do not know how Yule is doing, but at least in the morning, she was much comforted when I let her bring the doggie soft toy along, and put in her bag a new jotter book and her box of crayons ( I thought about the jotter book and crayons only this morning, when she continued to say that she does not want to sleep at the child care and feeling scared) In her presence, I asked the teacher if Yule could ask for permission to stay awake and do her drawings if she can't fall asleep, teacher said yes and Yule felt much better.

So far so good! Thanks to mummy me! Kinda pride myself for 'Mummy knows best!' Also really pride myself for knowing how best to tune in to my child, listen to what her cries really mean and work with the school to help her cope with it... Ha! I am probably like the 'ideal parent' to work with if I am the school counsellor helping the child who refuses school!

Maybe I should not be too happy so early. Let's see what the teacher say or what Yule would say when she returns in the evening. Whatever it is, I am so glad to be able to be around this month to help Yule transit into a new routine. I am glad that I am trained and have the skills to listen to the needs of my own child.

Another thought - Its so tough to be a child care teacher!! Oh my goodness, the kind of thing they have to put up with! Not only do they take care of the child's learning, they take care of all the other needs - bathing, feeding, toliet training, sleeping, disciplining, classroom management, cleaning up after a child who pukes...and no lunch break! They eat what the kiddos eat! Oh man.. kudos to these teachers!

Child Care = Learning to let go?

At work, I had spent much time sharing with parents about the need to learn to let go (with limits of course) as their tweenies are slowly growing into teenagers, demanding more autonomy, freedom to make choices and decision, and the space to grow more and more independent. I have seen the consequences of parents not letting go, being too controlling and overbearing, how the teengers-to-be fight back, become rebellious, and even resort to self harm to manipulate... The key is really to teach children to how to become a responsible decision maker.

Now it's my turn to learn the first milestone of letting go... when my little 3 year-old turning 4 year-old is going to child care. I feel the naggy apprehension (perhaps read and heard too much of some horror stories of child care) about child care, yet hopeful about the potential benefits of child care. And I tend to think too much, become overly anxious and at times paranoid. I worry about her eczema, whether there will be more breakouts and whether the teachers will remember to apply moisturiser faithfully after bath for her; I worry about her feeding problem, whether she will refuse to eat whatever she doesn't like and end up puking and then go hungry; I worry about her nap, whether she could fall asleep there; I worry about her being too bossy and her trantrums, whether the teachers will complain about her; I worry if proper learning could take place in a child care environment; I worry if she'll have anything to do there if we were to send her early at 7am every morning; I also worry about her being restless and 'under control' with pent-up emotions over a long ten-hour period every day;  I worry this and worry that, and to the point of having my Irritable Bowel Syndrome again (it always happens when I'm feeling stressed)... Ah! So much for talking about learning to let go! Ha!

Today is Yule's second day at child care, while I'm feeling much anxieties, I told myself this is normal, I guess this is what many parents went through too. Step out and she will be less clingy... she will do fine, as any other children... this is what I am telling myself. (Of course, the other side of me also wants to be inside the child care to scrutinise what's going on in there!)

I should remain hopeful of the potential advantages of being in a child care, like better eating and sleeping habits, being more independent and better control of her temper tantrums.

Yes.. I should remain hopeful...