Everything is MINE!

I'm trying to understand the emotional conflicts Yule is going through after Yuxi's arrival. While she adores her baby sister very much and readily accepts her as part of the family, she is also very fearful of losing both tangible and intangible items to the sister, like her favourite toys, gifts and our attention. Despite having to deal with such unpleasant feelings, Yule is also very scared of losing her baby sister. She has this thinking that when others look at Yuxi or wants to carry her, they will also take her away! So its actually quite interesting to see her going through the emotional ups and downs as a way of learning to be a big sister.

Recently, a grandma of Yule's classmate gave baby Yuxi a pair of handmade knitted shoes, and Yule got pretty upset about it and demanded that the pair of shoes is hers. After I told her that the pair of shoes is meant for Yuxi, and explained that some things are for Yule, some things are for Yuxi while others are meant to be shared. She said 'No! Everything is MINE!' I tried to explain to her about feeling insecure and feeling jealous. I told her that she is probably feeling jealous and explained to her what it means, like she is scared that people look at Yuxi and sing praises of Yuxi, or take photos of Yuxi. She agreed with me and even said 'I'm scared that nobody wants to play with me'. I wanted to laugh! It takes quite a bit of emotional intelligence from a 3 year old to be able to speak like that! At least her emotional literacy is quite good... thanks to her counsellor mummy!

Eventually, Yule will have to learn that while love can be plentiful, attention still needs to be shared. Not easy for her since she had ALL the attention for the past 3 years. Can't expect her to understand her own conflicting emotions, let alone reconciling the conflicts within her. Can only continue to provide her the assurance and allow her opportunities to show care and ocncern towards Yuxi.

At least I'm glad that for now she really adores her meimei.



Yule looking after Yuxi while we get
 busy with other chores



'Watch meimei! Don't choke her!'