Everything is MINE!

I'm trying to understand the emotional conflicts Yule is going through after Yuxi's arrival. While she adores her baby sister very much and readily accepts her as part of the family, she is also very fearful of losing both tangible and intangible items to the sister, like her favourite toys, gifts and our attention. Despite having to deal with such unpleasant feelings, Yule is also very scared of losing her baby sister. She has this thinking that when others look at Yuxi or wants to carry her, they will also take her away! So its actually quite interesting to see her going through the emotional ups and downs as a way of learning to be a big sister.

Recently, a grandma of Yule's classmate gave baby Yuxi a pair of handmade knitted shoes, and Yule got pretty upset about it and demanded that the pair of shoes is hers. After I told her that the pair of shoes is meant for Yuxi, and explained that some things are for Yule, some things are for Yuxi while others are meant to be shared. She said 'No! Everything is MINE!' I tried to explain to her about feeling insecure and feeling jealous. I told her that she is probably feeling jealous and explained to her what it means, like she is scared that people look at Yuxi and sing praises of Yuxi, or take photos of Yuxi. She agreed with me and even said 'I'm scared that nobody wants to play with me'. I wanted to laugh! It takes quite a bit of emotional intelligence from a 3 year old to be able to speak like that! At least her emotional literacy is quite good... thanks to her counsellor mummy!

Eventually, Yule will have to learn that while love can be plentiful, attention still needs to be shared. Not easy for her since she had ALL the attention for the past 3 years. Can't expect her to understand her own conflicting emotions, let alone reconciling the conflicts within her. Can only continue to provide her the assurance and allow her opportunities to show care and ocncern towards Yuxi.

At least I'm glad that for now she really adores her meimei.



Yule looking after Yuxi while we get
 busy with other chores



'Watch meimei! Don't choke her!'



Wedding

Attending a wedding function is never the same when bringing both kiddos along. My goodness, I think other than the bride and the groom, I was like THE most busy person in the ballroom. This was what happened in a span of 5 hours from the time we left the house to the hotel and back home... not even including what I had to do in the morning to get the two princessess bathed, fed and dressed up...

12pm - Left the house.. Fed Yuxi in car and she fell asleep after her feed, then 'entertained' Yule in car.
1245pm - Reached hotel... Yuxi still sleeping in her stroller, while Yule whining to be carried to see the bride at the reception area... then brought Yule to the toilet
1pm - Went into ballroom.. sat down.. didn't have chance to ask waiter for a drink and Yuxi woke up and she wanted to be out of  the stroller... so carried her out of ballroom for a walk while daddy 'entertained' Yule in the ballroom
130pm - Carried Yuxi back into ballroom and photo montage begins.. put Yuxi on my lap.. I carried Yuxi while daddy carried Yule during the march-in
145pm - First dish. Started eating with Yuxi on my lap.
2pm - Second dish, shark's fins.. yuxi making noise, carried her out of ballroom again
215pm - I came back to the ballroom, ate my shark's fins with yuxi on my lap... also ate the third dish, prawns, after daddy peeled them for me.. passed Yuxi to daddy
230pm - Daddy noticed yuxi pooped! Immediately, I carried her out with my big diaper bag (super unglam, I was wearing long dress somemore).. and seeing me walked out again, Yule cried out very loudly.. mummy mummy, I want to go! and cried...sigh, told her I'll be back quickly and walked out.
235pm - I went out of the ballroom and asked a hotel staff if there was any baby changing room.. was told NO! Walked around looking for a place for me to put Yuxi down to change her.. was about to walk to Marina Square (we were at Pan Pacific Hotel) Luckily a hotel staff was nice enough to lead me to a room which was set up for a workshop. I then placed Yuxi on the table which was meant for a projector!  Got her change and prepared milk for her.
250pm - I walked back to the ballroom with Yuxi and daddy took over to feed Yuxi.
3pm - Yule said she needed to go to the toilet.. once again I left the ballroom to bring her to the toilet.
305pm - Back into the ballroom. Seeing that I was not carrying Yuxi, Yule took the chance to stick to me. We played with baby Faith who was also at the same table with us. Yule was playing peek-a-boo with her while I took some pictures of them.
320pm - We decided that we got to leave soon for Yule's ballet class. Brought Yule to the toilet again.
330pm - Left the ballroom before the last dessert dish.
340pm - Back in car, and Yuxi was sleeping. Yule was tired, and asked me to tell her a story so she could sleep. Started telling her a story.
4pm - Yule fell asleep on my shoulders in the car.
415pm - Reached our carpark. Woke Yule up and daddy carried her home quickly to change her into her ballet attire while I walked Yuxi back home.
430pm - Reached home and wanted to get ready my breastpump, but Yuxi woke up. Carried her and rocked her.
5pm - Yuxi fell asleep. I settled down to pump. FINALLY....

After that I realised I really never ate much at the wedding since I was walking in and out so many times and was hungry and very thirsty. Called daddy who brought Yule to her ballet class to buy me 2 char siew baos.

A long and tiring day.... but we made it!

Our family pic at Zifa and Germaine's wedding on 18 Sept 2010

Candy floss

I brought Yule to my school's annual mid-autumn festival. Yule has been there with me every year for the past few years I was working in the school. The first time she was there, she was only 5 months old, then at 1 plus, then 2 plus and this year at 3 plus. She actually remembered that last year she had candy floss during the event and asked for it again this year. I didn't see what's wrong and queued up to exchange a coupon for candy floss for her.  

When she was eating her candy floss (it wasn't the super big one... just a small fluffy floss), I receievd two comments one after the other "Oh, you actually allow her to eat candy floss?" and "Oh, I never let my son eat such thing." I just came a shrug and a smile to the comments... but the comments didn't fail to make me feel bad and guilty for the next few days.

It sets me thinking.. oh no, what have I been feeding my girl? Both literally and metaphorically. I've also been quite bothered about the things she's exposed to as she picks up things so quickly, both the good and the bad. Bad languages, bad gestures, morbid themes on TV etc... but have I done enough to make sure these are maintained at the minimum level? I can't control all the things she's exposed to.. excuses or not trying hard enough? Sigh... guilty mummy...

The candy floss incident bothered me for a few days until Daddy said something which made me feel a little better, though not in response to the same incident... at the end of the day, all these do not matter, they will still grow up... simple truth... they will still grow up... let go of the unimportant things... not to ignore them totally but I guess I shouldn't let small matters like candy floss bother me too much... what's with a candy floss once or twice a year?? Yes! Move on lah mummy...

So do you allow your pre-schooler to eat candy floss?

Daily dose of laughter

Undeniably, when it comes to playfulness, Daddy will be the more playful parent. Yuxi seems to know that she will have her daily dose of laughter when Daddy comes home in the evening. She will eagerly look at Daddy and laugh repeatedly when Daddy makes some silly sounds or ticklish acts. So cute... can melt one's heart just looking at her =)

Staying at home

This week marks the end of my maternity leave and the beginning of my no-pay leave. This will be the first time since my graduation that I'm not seeing any pay in my bank account on the 12th of every month. Though I've got savings to rely on, still can't help but feel the pinch... I'm telling myself to make the next few of staying at home really worthwhile. Treasure the time! Things I hope to do and accomplish in the next few months...

• Continue to pump so Yuxi will have breastmilk till 6 months old... glad I've come so far. My initial target was only 3 months.
• Take more photos... photos are great to record the kids' milestones
• Blog more... as I want to find time to reflect and think..
• Tidy up the house! The book shelf, toy shelf, my wardrobe.. clear away old stuff
• Read! Yes, I want to get down to read... bought the Mitch Albom book for so long but havent got down to reading it.
• Finish my Art Therapy Module 4, and hopefully start on Module 5... the last module to completion of the certification program
• Do more art and crafts with Yule.. hmmm, watch Mister Maker and surf the net for more ideas.
• Start reading to Yuxi... flashcards too!
• Begin to teach Yule more spellings.. she already knows her A,B,C and 1,2,3.. time to move on... 
• Go on a holiday to a resort... (Daddy, are u reading this?)
• Go back to faith and chant more..
• And perhaps to work on my workplan for 2011
• Exercise too! No excuse since I'm home!

Will add on whenever I think of something else that I really want to accomplish in the next 3 months.

Yule and Yuxi

Being a mother is...

Waiting and constantly checking if baby has pooped! Its been 10 days since baby last pooped!!