Staying at home

This week marks the end of my maternity leave and the beginning of my no-pay leave. This will be the first time since my graduation that I'm not seeing any pay in my bank account on the 12th of every month. Though I've got savings to rely on, still can't help but feel the pinch... I'm telling myself to make the next few of staying at home really worthwhile. Treasure the time! Things I hope to do and accomplish in the next few months...

• Continue to pump so Yuxi will have breastmilk till 6 months old... glad I've come so far. My initial target was only 3 months.
• Take more photos... photos are great to record the kids' milestones
• Blog more... as I want to find time to reflect and think..
• Tidy up the house! The book shelf, toy shelf, my wardrobe.. clear away old stuff
• Read! Yes, I want to get down to read... bought the Mitch Albom book for so long but havent got down to reading it.
• Finish my Art Therapy Module 4, and hopefully start on Module 5... the last module to completion of the certification program
• Do more art and crafts with Yule.. hmmm, watch Mister Maker and surf the net for more ideas.
• Start reading to Yuxi... flashcards too!
• Begin to teach Yule more spellings.. she already knows her A,B,C and 1,2,3.. time to move on... 
• Go on a holiday to a resort... (Daddy, are u reading this?)
• Go back to faith and chant more..
• And perhaps to work on my workplan for 2011
• Exercise too! No excuse since I'm home!

Will add on whenever I think of something else that I really want to accomplish in the next 3 months.

Yule and Yuxi

Being a mother is...

Waiting and constantly checking if baby has pooped! Its been 10 days since baby last pooped!!

I won second prize!

I'm hardly lucky when it comes to Lucky Draws. Surprise surprise surprise! Won second prize at the Teachers' Day Dinner, and that's because I picked the number '18' as my lucky number... Yuxi is borned on 18th May... Yuxi, you are my lucky baby!

My New Parenting Journey

Yuxi is now 3 months old. Feels like its been a long time, yet still feels unreal, or perhaps, still reminiscing the days when I could take on the role of a mother in greater confidence. Now, with 2 kiddos, motherhood seems to take on a new meaning - patience, patience and patience... not only am I constantly tested on my patient quotient, I'm also tested on my creative quotient. How can I get more creative in dealing with one active, demanding kiddo who can upset me with her behaviour, frustrates me and testing my limits in being consistent and follow through with the the consequences.... and a new baby so in need of my care, attention and cuddling. On top of that, still having to juggle and struggle to find in-between time to fulfil my motherly duties to provide to so-called best infant food - pumping milk. Not just that... what about my personal time and space? No more left??

I thought I want to begin to list down the creative ways I have learnt in managing these crazy stuff... some of these may come naturally, some perhaps out of desperation!

1. How do I sit down and pump for 20 minutes while Yule is always demanding my attention? Throw away the idea of privacy! Daddy says, my breasts have already become a 'public property'! Involve her as I pump, let her be around, hover around me or read to her - she flips the book (since I need both hands to hold my pump) and I read. Sounds multi-tasking, but at least she gets the attention and I get to pump.

2. Other ways to find the time to pump? Well, easy one is to get her to watch TV, or 'sneak' away when she is eating or bathing, and of course when she is asleep. But not easy all times as she may still pop inside my room and 'interupt' the process.

3. Yet, I have no 'solution' to a scenario where baby is sleeping in the same room with me where I pump, and I wouldn't want baby to wake at that point which means I have to stop my pumping... Yule comes in and 'disturb'. Not interested to play the 'tip toe' or silent game, gets on her 'you cannot catch me mode' (since she knows I'm kinda stuck there having to pump, and cannot raise my voice as baby is sleeping), she takes the chance to scream in delight.. and give a cheaky smile.. or shake baby's bed.. or jump around my bed (with noise of course) testing my patience, excited by doing the things she is not supposed to do and seeing my reactions. What can I do in this situation? Get angry of course. Then having to thraten her with consequences... not always work.. well, she wins.. at least in irritating me!

4. The above 3 scenarios assume baby is sleeping. What if baby is awake? Or worse, baby wakes up while I'm pumping halfway. Well, not easy.. what I do is talk to baby while I keep both my hands on the pump cupping my breasts, make eye contact and conversations, turn on the radio, sing song... whatever it takes, I will just need those extra few minutes before I finish my pump. Not exactly a nice sight, but what to do??

5. Another way to coo the crying baby when I am pumping halfway.. put her on the U- shaped breastfeeding pillow, give her milk bottle and support it when her beanie pillow! Bravo, hands free feeding! (Though this tests my creativity quotient, I do ger emotional over this irony: instead of breastfeeding her direct, I am pumping at the same time when she is feeding my expressed milk in a bottle... haiz... at least the breastfeeding pillow has got other uses...)

6. Bathing baby while Yule is still demanding attention... involve jie jie in the action. Get her to wash baby's feet, sing and dance in front of baby and make bath bubbles.

7. Now there's another problem with bubbles making from bath soap. How do I stop the enthusiastic toddler from stopping her bubbles making? Cos it can be endless, and she will just pump and pump from the soap bottle and 'wasting' the soap! Tried coercing and threats to get her to stop.... battles and negotiations which may just turn out unpleasant... its not wrong for her to play with bubbles, but yet how do I stop it from becoming something that pissed me off? Think think think! My counselling theories tell me to offer a replacement behaviour.. so what I did, fill a hand soap bottle, that's left with a little soap, with water and told her that she can only use that bottle to make her bubbles. So now, instead of getting angry with her for pumping and pumping from baby's soap bottle, she gets her own soap bottle (that's mainly water, so less wastage) and she continues to make bath bubbles while I bathe baby... simple! Why didn't I think of it earlier? Safe those pissifying episodes!

Yule and Yuxi

Yule: (looking at Mummy's big tummy) 妈咪, 我在妈咪肚子里面的时候, 宇希在哪里?
Mummy: (Of course mummy doesn't quite know how to answer such a question???!!!)Hmmmm, 宇乐在妈咪肚子里面的时候, 宇希还在别的世界.
Yule: (staring at mummy blankly) 什么???
Mummy: ok, you go and ask papa

Yule: 爸爸, 爸爸, 我在妈咪肚子里面的时候, 宇希在哪里?
Papa: 宇希还在游泳!
Yule: (looking even more confused and decided to stop asking and walk away!)

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Mummy: 宇乐, 妈咪生宇希的时候, 要去医院住两天的.
Yule: (looking sad and hugging mummy) 妈咪,我会勇敢的. 我会 Nam-myo-ho-renge-gyo的. (referring to the chant when making prayer)
Mummy: (can't help but to kiss Yule for being so sweet)
Yule: 妈咪, 我们现在就去 Nam-myo-ho-renge-gyo 啦 (referring that we should go and chant now)
Mummy: Nam-myo-ho-renge-gyo 也可以在心里面的. (pointing to where her heart is)
Yule: 什么???
Mummy: 心就是你的 heart (pointing to where her heart is agian)
Yule: 很像 Good Morning Jesus ah? (referring to the song she sings in her school!)
Mummy: (laughing and speechless...)

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Yule: 妈咪, 你去医院, doctor 会不会跟你打针的?
Mummy: 会呀!
Yule: 为什么?
Mummy: 这样才可以生 baby 吗
Yule: 我不喜欢 doctor 了!

Happy Wedding to You!

Celebrating Papa and Mummy's 6th year wedding anniversary and 14 years of togetherness...

Happy 3rd Birthday Yule!

Momfidence!

I had a mini get together wth a mummy friend.. and after the gathering (or should I say during as well), I kinda felt I havent been dilligent enough to be sure of what I feed yule or what cream I use on yule, or perhaps also havent been dilligent enough to read up and research on the stuff that I provide for her.... hmmmmm.... its does tingle some guilt and lousy feelings...

I actually pride myself for not really being part of the rat race or signing up those enrichment programmes that ensure your child has a good headstart... well, not that I disagree with such programmes (I'm also hoping to sign Yule up for some dance or ballet class soon), just that I feel that these programmes will rob away precious family time.. I rather spend the time bringing her to west coast or east coast park than to enrichment classes... at least for now... I dun just buy into whatever that sounds good for the child... or whatever other parents are doing... but that mini get together with the mummy friend had somehow made me feel and think to myself, am I doing enough as a mother???

During one of those regular Sunday visits to the library with Yule, I saw this book on Momfidence! Lose the Guilt, Love your Instincts!.. looked interesting...so I borrowed it.. and read it... and wow! Love it! It had such an amazing impact on me!! Really, motherhood is not about losing ourselves into the media, parenting books, 'perfect' advice from mummy friends, researches that say what and what is good... its really about our instincts and sometimes simply common sense! Its really one of those heartening read that made me laughed and felt good about myself.. and I'm so happy I actually finished the whole book (I actually cannot remember when was the last time I finished one whole book, and not giving up halfway!)

One of those impactful chapter is when the author mentioned how her eldest boy do not and literally do not eat other things except chicken nuggets.. and must be those frozen type and a particular brand (I can relate to this as Yule is also quite a picky eater). While she tried all ways and means to feed her son nutritious stuff and serving them in some fanciful ways (again, I can relate to this as this is also what I have been trying every now and then) to entice him to eat other things, it just doesn't work... Obviously, she'll have to make do with queries and stares from other mummies, that why is she always feeding her son 'unhealthy' chicken nuggets, will he grow up fine, is he getting enough nutrition, food pyramid??? etc etc... well well, her son is now in elementary school, and actually top the class for physical fitness! And thankfully more willing to eat different type of food... so what does it say??? If the child does not want to eat healthy nutritious lovely prepared food, just be thankful that he can eat and is still eating something!

Just some quotes from the book:

"Good mothering, ultimately, is in the eye of the beneficiary. Too often we play to a crowd that doesn't count: to the advice mongers in the media, to the imagined stares of perfect strangers, to the darting eyes of other insecure mommies. Worse of all, we play the perfect mother of all mothers who exist exclusively in our heads. The only audience that matters is the one we tuck in at night"

"Momfidence is raising your child freehand, rather than with a paint-by-numbers kit. To paraphrase Lucy van Pelt of Peanuts: The expert is Within."

"Momfidence is the confidence that comes from knowing everybody else is pretty much winging it, too."

Once again, whatever guilt feelings I gathered from the mini get together with mummy friend is gone. I believe its about being confident as a mummy and knowing that I know whats best for my child! Well, papa also always says he's glad mummy me is a counsellor who knows a pretty good deal about managing and communicating with children =)

Make way for Momfidence!

Check out the Momfidence website at www.momfidence.com

New Zealand 3 Dec to 16 Dec 2009