Another pre-schooler

At 35th month old, Yuxi is finally attending school. So she is now officially a pre-schooler, and no longer a toddler who stays home with me. Haha!!

Yuxi just started child care early this week on Monday. Its been amazing that she was coping so well. She could wake up early at 7am in the morning, drink her milk, get dressed and be ready to leave the house. She would also pack her bag excitedly with me the night before. On her first day of school, I only stayed with her for the first hour and she was pretty ok to see me go. On the second day, she was all ready to go into the child care centre by herself and to nap there in the afternoon. These were her exact words on the morning of the second day of school: "妈咪，你不用陪我，

我不会哭的." She's such a darling! And indeed, she walked in to the centre, all composed. Later on, when she was led by a teacher to the table to have her breakfast, she sat there quietly, eating oats cereal. And she finished that bowl of oats, all by herself! What a beautiful sight! I didn't think my mischevious little Yuxi could cope so well in a new environment. In the evening, when I fetched her, teacher also informed me that Yuxi slept by herself in the afternoon and slept very well. Needless to say, I'm so surprised. At home, Yuxi would cling to me like superglue, and wants nothing but me to lie down with her when she naps. Not only that, I have to lie very close to her and she will demand that I have to face her, sometimes scratching her back. This daily routine could drag for an hour!

Perhaps it was because Yule took 6 months before she could walk into the child care  centre happily, I was all prepared for the drama to unfold when its Yuxi's turn to start school. I couldn't be more happy when none of such drama has happened so far! (Of course, fingers crossed!) When I pondered what makes Yuxi cope so well in child care, compared to Yule at that time, I tend to give myself and the fact that I'm staying at home some credits. Yuxi has been taken care of at home all these while, and got especially close to me for the past (almost) one year of me staying at home. I believe such closeness and bond have helped her to develop a fundamental and deep sense of security and that when its time for her to move on to explore a new environment, she is all ready.

In Erikson's Theory of Psychosocial Development in infancy and early childhood, a child goes through different stages of development, and if a stage is handled well, the child will feel a sense of mastery and gains confidence. At the age of 2+, Yuxi is at the stage of Autonomy vs Shame and Doubt, where she is learning to do things by herself, and feeling a sense of control and independance. I am happy that I have the opportunity to witness and walk through this stage of development with her, and affirming her little milestone successes from toilet training, to recognizing her ABCs, understanding, following and getting rewarded for certain behavioural expectations and of course being a little helper at home - small steps like putting the dirty laundry away, placing the milk bottle on the kitchen table after finishing the milk, clearing the baby brother's diapers, setting the children table and chairs during meal time and even folding the baby's clothes. The home environment, together with a full time mummy, indeed makes a difference. I am convinced, in the early childhood development, a child's learning is caught, not taught.

Of course, not forgeting the eldest sister in celebrating Mei Mei's successful adjustment in school. Yule is the type of elder sister who likes to lead (and of course who likes to make decision of behalf of others and order others around!) She has given Yuxi a role model in gaining a sense of mastery in many aspects. Though often at loggerheads, Yuxi likes to follow the sister, Yule also enjoys being able to influence the younger one.

Yesterday, on the fourth day of child care for Yuxi, we sent them early, and since in the early morning, the playgroup kiddos and the bigger kiddos are mixed together before they are splitted to their respective classes. Yule and Yuxi were thrilled that they could be together for that short time in the morning! In the evening, the girls reported to me that they were playing around in the morning (I believe making alot of noise too!) and Jie Jie was watching Mei Mei having her breakfast. Mei Mei asked Jie Jie to feed her the cereal and Jie Jie did! So Mei Mei managed to finish her breakfast. with Jie Jie's help. So cute! Can they be so loving and cute all the time??!! Being so sweet.. my girls got their surprise treat when they got home - choice of stickers, evening swim and an ice cream treat at home.

Proud of you, girls!

As for me, I'm enjoying the serenity at home while blogging!

 

 

Today

Blogging seems to be a luxury now, even though I am now a Stay Home Mum. The last post was dated Sept 2011, and now its already Jan 2013! More than a year has passed since my last entry. Well, new year means new resolutions, or perhaps, to revisit my resolutions? And typing this entry actually takes me two days.. not that this is a long entry, but it was halfway interrupted by An's cries and Xi's mischief, and I have to stop and continue. Hah!

The last one year saw another amazing journey. I was pregnant all over again, and Yu-An was borned, on the day Yuxi turned 2. With his arrival, I've also become a SAHM, making the decision to leave a job with much familiarity and friendships. There was alot of mix feelings, uncertainties and fears. Yet another big decision in our lives. We have decided to move. A major house purchase and major renovation underway. Excitement yet uncertainties again. How else to make the year 2012 an amazing year?

Its not easy to be a mother of 3. At times I get angry, irritable and frustrated. Sometimes I grumble, I scold and I frown. Thankfully, I also reflect. While knowing that such feelings are inevitable, I tell myself to keep such behaviours to the minimum, and reminding myself the reasons for staying at home. Afterall, I will miss these times when I am back at work. And I am not sure would I even be able to return to work?

I always love the song 'Today'. I think I knew this song when I was in Primary School? The lyrics linger in me, and often, its a lullaby song I'll hum to my babies. The lyrics could even bring tears in me.

Today is my moment, now is my story. I'll laugh and I'll cry and I'll sing.

A million tomorrows shall all pass away. Ere I forget all the joy that is mine, Today.

No matter what happens, today or tomorrow will pass away. What could be more important than experiencing the little joyful moments that will come upon today? And I am to mindfully create these little joyful moments at home, today and everyday.

So, here it is.. the song Today

Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
Ill taste your strawberries, Ill drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
Ere I forget all the joy that is mine, Today

I'll be a dandy, and I'll be a rover
Youll know who I am by the songs that I sing
I'll feast at your table, I'll sleep in your clover
Who cares what the morrow shall bring

Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
Ill taste your strawberries, Ill drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
Ere I forget all the joy that is mine, Today

I cant be contented with yesterdays glory
I cant live on promises winter to spring
Today is my moment, now is my story
I'll laugh and I'll cry and I'll sing

Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
Ill taste your strawberries, Ill drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
Ere I forget all the joy that is mine, Today

Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
Ill taste your strawberries, Ill drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
Ere I forget all the joy that is mine, Today

Our Langkawi Holiday ~ 6 - 9 Sep 2011 (PART 2 of 2)

Our Langkawi Holiday ~ 6 - 9 Sep 2011 (PART 1 of 2)

Black Whale

In school now, I am going into all the P3 to P6 classes to get the children to know me and allow them to know that in school there is always someone whom they can turn to when in need. I'm mindful that among all the children, there will be some out there who will have a sad, inner story to share, some unhappy feelings that need healing, and some negative emotions that need reconciling. And my message to the children.. "Mrs Chiam is most willing to listen and understand your story'.

This is a short clip which I shared with the children. It reminds us how an act of a child can often be misunderstood by adults, and perhaps, how as adults, we need to really learn to see things from the child's perspectives.

Yule's art work

Since about 2 years old (or even earlier), Yule likes to doodle... perhaps also because of my training in art therapy, I have also encouraged free doodling since young to develop a means to express herself.

Lately, as she is still struggling to get used to the routines at child care, not comfortable about sleeping there etc, I also encouraged the use of art to express her frustration. It works! One of the day when she came back from child care, she was frustrated, seemed to have oppressed feelings the whole day, was throwing tantrums back home, and was constantly nagging and whining about not wanting to go child care. She even stood near at the window, looking out and talked to herself about not wanting to go child care. I was sad to see such a sight. Such a young child, and having such feeling of oppression is probably unbearable. To manage that, I took out the oil pastels and taught her to use different colours and strong strokes repeatedly to translate the frustration on the drawing paper. I stayed beside her to watch her (while Yuxi was sitting on my lap of course) and encouraged her to continue the process with minimum guidance from me. It works! At the end of that 15 minutes of heavy strokes, I did not see any trantrums, and neither the repeated whining 'I don't want to go child care' for that day.

Since Yule has my influence and is very much into art as a form of expression, I thought I should begin to record some of her 'art pieces' to record her milestones. And as in art therapy, its the process of engaging, fulfilment, creativity and emotional learning that matters.




One of her first drawings of 'potato' persons. This was drawn on the flight
back from New Zealand. Yule was 2 and half years old then.



A drawing done on the MRT ride with me to Funan Centre. She said she is drawing herself and Daddy holding hands. Dated 10/12/2010.

 

The use of oil pastels to release negative energy. Done in Jan 2011.

A recent drawing of family, on her little white board. This should be the first time she just randomly drew a family and really surprised us!

One of her proudest work! This was one time where I was busy with bathing baby etc, gave her her crayons and ask her to draw anything she wants, and there she drew our family playing hopscoth outdoor. Really delighted us with a first complete drawing.

Just a random silly collage piece. All I did was give her drawing paper, an unwanted brochure, glue and scissors and she just started cutting and gluing on her own. She's kinda proud of her final product though.

Another self-made silly collage piece, using cotton wool, colour paper, paper plate, scissors and glue. She said its a birthday cake she's making!





"Your baby has Eczema"

"Your baby has Eczema" is what the PD said to us on few days back. Sigh.... I can only give a long sigh... Just like Jie Jie, Yuxi also has Eczema, at 8 months old.

I know how frustrating this rough, itchy, dry, red patchy skin condition is like for the child and for the parents and caregivers. Yule had Eczema since birth.. we never get to use nice smelling bath soap for Yule since young, we spent a lot of money to see different doctors (PD, GP and Chinese Physician), we used many different type of moisturiser and treatment cream, we struggled to put the cream on and moisturiser for her since she was not always cooperative, we put up with her temper tantrums knowing that she could be frustrated due to the itch, we scratched her hands and legs for her so that she could sleep, we went for skin prick test to find out any allergies.. etc etc... the list goes on... the frustration remains, and the hope lingers.. that one day she will outgrow it...

So now, we found out that Yuxi also has eczema... there goes Yuxi's beautiful and fair skin...(hubby says at least she has beautiful skin for the past few months) there goes nice smelling bath soap and nice smelling moisturiser... money to buy expensive soap-free bath and moisturiser, time and patience to carefully apply these stuff for her to prevent any flare up...

While I'm kinda sad that Yuxi also has Eczema, I'm reminded to count my blessings... I have 2 healthy and beautiful girls. That is all that matter isn't it? Well, Daddy also says at least its economy of scale when the not-so-cheap bath soap and moituriser that we buy can be shared between the 2 sisters... Ha... see how Daddy never fails to delight me with his pragmatic perspectives, and the ability to reframe the situation.. =)

Little Yuxi with the eczema flare-up on her face.

Mummy knows best!

This is Yule 7th day at child care.. it was generally ok for Yule but it wasn't all smooth for the past few days..

Day 1 - Only tried half day and I was with Yule the whole time (from 9 am to 1 pm and I was so bored!!).. pretty ok, but kinda refused to eat the food (rice with fish soup and some vege, smells so nice but obviously does not entice Yule). I have to let the teacher know her picky habit and eat too much will puke syndrome, and she ate a bit after the teacher started feeding her.

Day 2 - Daddy stayed an hour with her, and she was there for another 2 hours on her own. Everything ok. Ate during lunch by herself.

Day 3 - Decided to try her for full day including napping there.. I was with her the first hour from 9am to 10am, she was uncomfortable that I had to go, but rest of the day turned out not too bad. The teacher accompanied her while she slept.

Day 4 - I left right after dropping her. She was happy and gave me a kiss voluntarily. When I rerturned to pick her at 4pm, the teacher (and even a few kiddos) told me Yule cried before sleep and after she woke up. The teacher had to carry her to sleep as she wept... poor thing...

Day 5 - It was a monday after a weekend. Yule started to say that she does not want to go child care. Sent her nonetheless... and in the evening, was told by the teacher again that she cried during nap time. Yule continued to say she does not want to go child care. Put her to sleep at night and comforted her.

Day 6 - The worse so far. Yule repeatedly said she does not want to go child care, began to cry as we were approaching the child care and cried hysterically when I was about to go. My heart sank. So poor thing... I picked her in the afternoon, as I have to send her to her pottery class, so she did not have to nap there, not too bad... spent the rest of the day talking and listening to her, and what she likes and dislikes about child care.

Yule said she wants to go child care but she does not want to sleep there. I figured out that she was scared about sleeping and feeling scared that teacher will scold. She kinda like some of the things going on there, birthday celebtations, goody bags, new friends, new experiences but in a dillemma whether she wants to child care or not as she does not want to sleep there! Quite funny actually!

Day 7 (today) - As I am typing now, I do not know how Yule is doing, but at least in the morning, she was much comforted when I let her bring the doggie soft toy along, and put in her bag a new jotter book and her box of crayons ( I thought about the jotter book and crayons only this morning, when she continued to say that she does not want to sleep at the child care and feeling scared) In her presence, I asked the teacher if Yule could ask for permission to stay awake and do her drawings if she can't fall asleep, teacher said yes and Yule felt much better.

So far so good! Thanks to mummy me! Kinda pride myself for 'Mummy knows best!' Also really pride myself for knowing how best to tune in to my child, listen to what her cries really mean and work with the school to help her cope with it... Ha! I am probably like the 'ideal parent' to work with if I am the school counsellor helping the child who refuses school!

Maybe I should not be too happy so early. Let's see what the teacher say or what Yule would say when she returns in the evening. Whatever it is, I am so glad to be able to be around this month to help Yule transit into a new routine. I am glad that I am trained and have the skills to listen to the needs of my own child.

Another thought - Its so tough to be a child care teacher!! Oh my goodness, the kind of thing they have to put up with! Not only do they take care of the child's learning, they take care of all the other needs - bathing, feeding, toliet training, sleeping, disciplining, classroom management, cleaning up after a child who pukes...and no lunch break! They eat what the kiddos eat! Oh man.. kudos to these teachers!

Child Care = Learning to let go?

At work, I had spent much time sharing with parents about the need to learn to let go (with limits of course) as their tweenies are slowly growing into teenagers, demanding more autonomy, freedom to make choices and decision, and the space to grow more and more independent. I have seen the consequences of parents not letting go, being too controlling and overbearing, how the teengers-to-be fight back, become rebellious, and even resort to self harm to manipulate... The key is really to teach children to how to become a responsible decision maker.

Now it's my turn to learn the first milestone of letting go... when my little 3 year-old turning 4 year-old is going to child care. I feel the naggy apprehension (perhaps read and heard too much of some horror stories of child care) about child care, yet hopeful about the potential benefits of child care. And I tend to think too much, become overly anxious and at times paranoid. I worry about her eczema, whether there will be more breakouts and whether the teachers will remember to apply moisturiser faithfully after bath for her; I worry about her feeding problem, whether she will refuse to eat whatever she doesn't like and end up puking and then go hungry; I worry about her nap, whether she could fall asleep there; I worry about her being too bossy and her trantrums, whether the teachers will complain about her; I worry if proper learning could take place in a child care environment; I worry if she'll have anything to do there if we were to send her early at 7am every morning; I also worry about her being restless and 'under control' with pent-up emotions over a long ten-hour period every day;  I worry this and worry that, and to the point of having my Irritable Bowel Syndrome again (it always happens when I'm feeling stressed)... Ah! So much for talking about learning to let go! Ha!

Today is Yule's second day at child care, while I'm feeling much anxieties, I told myself this is normal, I guess this is what many parents went through too. Step out and she will be less clingy... she will do fine, as any other children... this is what I am telling myself. (Of course, the other side of me also wants to be inside the child care to scrutinise what's going on in there!)

I should remain hopeful of the potential advantages of being in a child care, like better eating and sleeping habits, being more independent and better control of her temper tantrums.

Yes.. I should remain hopeful...

Last day...

Today is Yule's last day of school at JCCK.. and yesterday, the day where Yuxi turned 6 months old, was the last day of my pump... finally!

I'm happy for Yule who had really nice experiences in her one year at JCCK... making friends; and having best friend; learning new songs, new skills and new knowledge; learning to be more disciplined and all the cool outings to Marina Barrage and Duck Tour... and her solo performance during Children's Day and class performance today (the last day of school). Yes, we are so proud of you, Yule! You are really a quite a performer! I especially like to see your signature move on stage - shaking backside!!

What's even more wonderful is that I could be part of these new experiences, since I was very much around during the second half of this year, joining her in several school celebrations and activities... I am so thankful...

Last day also signify the beginning of something new... last day at JCCK means a new start at Child Care.. last day of my pump also means that work in school is starting and waiting for me... I am apprehensive. Will blog more on that.. now, just a showcase of some photos of Yule and her experiences in JCCK.